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圈圈笔记 73

中央咖啡馆

Theres nothing to tell!这没什么好说的

Hes just some guy I work with!他不过是我的同事

Cmon, youre going out with the guy!少来了 你们都在约会了

Theres gotta be something wrong with him!这个男人一定有什么问题

So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?他是驼背吗 戴着假发的驼背

Wait, does he eat chalk?等等 他吃粉笔吗

Just, cause, I dont want her to go through what I went through with Carl.我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙

Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. Its just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.拜托各位 放松点 这甚至不算是约会,只不过是两个人出去吃个饭而且不会上床

Sounds like a date to me.听起来像是和我约会

Alright, so Im back in high school,于是我回到了高中学校

Im standing in the middle of the cafeteria and I realize I am totally naked.我站在食堂中间,然后发现自己全身赤裸

Oh, yeah. Had that dream.噢 做过那种梦

Then I look down, and I realize theres a phone there.然后我低下头 看见那里有一部手机

Instead of...? - Thats right.那话儿变成了 -没错

- Never had that dream. - No.-这种梦倒从未做过 -没有

All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.突然 那电话响起来了

And it turns out its my mother,结果是我妈打来的

which is very-very weird because she never calls me!这非常非常奇怪,因为她从来不打电话给我

Hi.

This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.这家伙一张嘴打招呼 我就想自杀

Are you okay, sweetie?你还好吧 亲爱的

I just feel like someone reached down my throat grabbed my small intestine,我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙抓住我的小肠

pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...从我嘴里扯出来然后缠在我脖子上

Cookie?饼干

Carol moved her stuff out today卡罗尔今天把她的东西搬走了

Let me get you some coffee.我帮你泡杯咖啡

Thanks.谢了

No, no dont! Stop cleansing my aura!不,不要,别再净化我的灵气了

No, just leave my aura alone, okay?求你了,别碰我的灵气,好吗

Ill be fine, alright?我会没事的,好吧

Really, everyone. I hope shell be very happy.真的,各位,我希望她能幸福

No you dont.不,你不会

No I dont,没错,我不会的

to hell with her, she left me!去她的,她甩掉了我

And you never knew she was a lesbian...你又不知道她是女同性恋

No!! Okay?!不知道,行了吧

Why does everyone keep fixating on that?为何大家都绕着这个话题打转

She didnt know, how should I know?她都不知道,我怎么会知道

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian...有时我希望自己也是个女同性恋

Did I say that out loud?我大声说出来了么

Alright Ross, look.好了罗斯,瞧

Youre feeling a lot of pain right now.你现在很痛苦

Youre angry. Youre hurting.你很生气,很伤心

Can I tell you what the answer is?要不要我给你支一招

Strip joint!脱衣舞俱乐部

Cmon, youre single! Have some hormones!别这样,作为光棍儿,爷们起来

I dont want to be single, okay?我不想单身的,好吗

I just...I just wanna be married again!我只想再次结婚

And I just want a million dollars!而我只想要一百万美金

Rachel?!瑞秋

Oh,God, Monica, hi! Thank God!噢天啊,莫妮卡,嗨,谢天谢地

I just went to your building and you werent there我刚去了你家,可你不在

and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!

有个拿大锤子的家伙说你可能会在这儿,结果你真的在这儿 你真的在这儿

Can I get you some coffee? De-Caff要来杯咖啡吗,无咖啡因的

Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor.好了各位,这是瑞秋,另一位林肯高中的幸存者

This is everybody, this is Chandler,and Phoebe, and Joey, and you remember my brother Ross?这就是各位啦,这是钱德勒,菲比,还有乔伊,还记得我哥哥罗斯吗

Hi, sure!当然,嗨

Hi.

So you wanna tell us now or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?你是想现在跟我们说说,还是我们再等四位湿漉漉的伴娘过来

Oh, God...well,噢,上帝,好吧

it started about a half hour before the wedding.大概在婚礼前半个小时

I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat.我当时在存放礼品的房间里, 看着调味汁瓶

This really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat.那是一件极其美丽的里摩日细瓷调味汁瓶

When all of a sudden然后,突然间

Sweet n Lo?有糖吗

I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry!我发现我对这个调味汁瓶比巴瑞更能引发我的兴奋感

And then I got really freaked out, and thats when it hit me:how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head.然后我真的吓坏了, 突然想到巴瑞真的超像薯头先生

Yknow, I mean, I always knew looked familiar,我是说 我总是觉得他眼熟

but...但是

Anyway, I just had to get out of there,and I started wondering不管怎么说,我必须离开那里, 我开始想

"Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?""我干吗这么做 我这么做是为了谁"

So anyway I just didnt know where to go,不管怎么说 我不知该去哪里

and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart,而且我知道我们有点疏远了

but youre the only person I knew但是 你是我在这个城市

who lived here in the city.唯一认识的人

Who wasnt invited to the wedding.还没有被邀请参加婚礼

Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldnt be an issue...噢,我希望这不是个问题

Now Im guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ,我猜他送她一台管风琴

and shes really not happy about it.而她很不喜欢

Daddy, I just... I cant marry him!爸爸,我只是,不能嫁给他

Im sorry. I just dont love him.对不起,只是不爱他

Well, it matters to me!可是对我来说就有关系

Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.噢,她真不应该穿那条裤子

I say push her down the stairs.要我说,推她下楼

Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!推她下楼,把推她下楼,把推她下楼

Cmon Daddy, listen to me!爸,你听我说

Its like, its like, all of my life,这就好像,在我一生中

everyone has always told me, Youre a shoe!所有人都一直告诉我"你是一只鞋子

Youre a shoe, youre a shoe, youre a shoe!.你是鞋子,你是鞋子,你是鞋子

And today I just stopped and I said,可今天我停下来说

What if I dont wanna be a shoe?"如果我不想成为一只鞋呢"

What if I wanna be a- a purse, yknow? Or a- or a hat!如果我想当一个包包.或是一顶帽子呢

No, Im not saying I want you to buy me a hat,不,我不是要你给我买帽子

Im saying I am a ha-我说我是一顶帽子

Its a metaphor, Daddy!这是比喻啦,爸爸

You can see where hed have trouble.这就是他的问题所在了

Look Daddy, its my life.听着爸爸,这是我的人生

Well maybe Ill just stay here with Monica.也许我可以和莫妮卡住在一起

Well, I guess weve established whos staying here with Monica...我猜和莫妮卡一起住的人选已然敲定了

Well, maybe thats my decision.也许那是我的决定

Well, maybe I dont need your money.也许我不需要你的钱

Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!!等等我说也许

Just breathe, breathe...thats it.深呼吸

Just try to think of nice calm things...就这样试着想些美好平静的事物

Rain drops on roses and rabbits and kittens玫瑰上的雨滴,小兔子和小猫咪

bluebells and sleighbells and something with mittens...还有风铃草,雪橇铃,和啥啥的手套

La la la something and noodles with string.啦啦啦,啥啥和绳子串起的面条

These are a few...还有一些

Im all better now.我现在好多了

I helped!我帮上忙啦

Okay, look, this is probably for the best, yknow?瞧,或许这样反倒最好

Independence. Taking control of your life.你独立了,可以主宰自己的人生

And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey.如有任何需求,尽管来找乔伊

Me and Chandler live across the hall.我和钱德勒就住在对面

And hes away a lot.而且他经常不在家

Joey, stop hitting on her!乔伊 别再勾引她了

Its her wedding day!今天是她结婚的日子

What, like theres a rule or something?怎么啦,难道还有什么明文规定不成

请不要在这么干了 这声音很烦人

Please dont do that again, its a horrible sound.

Its, uh, its Paul.我是保罗

Buzz him in.让他进来

Whos Paul? Paul the Wine Guy, Paul?保罗是谁?调酒的那个保罗吗

Maybe.也许吧

Wait. Your not a real date tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?等等,你今晚的"非正式约会"对象, 是调酒师保罗

He finally asked you out?他终于开口约你了吗

Yes!是的

Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment.噢,这真是值得永久铭记的时刻

Rach, wait, I can cancel...瑞秋,我可以取消

Please, no, go, thatd be fine!不,你去吧我没事

Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?你没事吧你要我留下来吗

Thatd be good...那样最好

Really?真的吗

No, go on!才怪 去吧

Its Paul the Wine Guy!那可是调酒师保罗

Hi, come in! Paul, this is...嗨,请进 保罗,这是

everybody, everybody, this is Paul.大家,各位,这是保罗

Hey! Paul! Hello!嘿,保罗 你好

Hi! The Wine Guy!嗨,调酒师

Im sorry, I didnt catch your name. Paul, was it?抱歉,没听清你的名字,保罗,是吗

Okay, sit down. Two seconds.好了,坐会,马上就好

Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That cant be good.噢,我刚拔掉四根睫毛,那可不是好兆头

So Rachel, whatre you, uh... whatre you up to tonight?瑞秋,你今晚打算怎么过

Well, I was kinda supposed to be这个嘛,本来我应该

headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!在阿鲁巴岛度蜜月,所以,没事做

Right, youre not even getting your honeymoon, God..对哦,你都不能去度蜜月,上帝

No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your big lizards...

不过在阿鲁巴岛的这个时候,说到你的大蜥蜴

Anyway, if you dont feel like being alone tonight,不管怎样如果你今晚不想独处的话

Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.

乔伊和钱德勒要到我那儿帮我组合新家具

Yes, and were very excited about it.是呀,我们特别期待特别兴奋

Well actually thanks,真的很感谢

but I think Im just gonna hang out here tonight.不过我今晚想待在这儿

Its been kinda a long day.今天真的很漫长

Okay, sure.好吧,当然了

Hey, Pheebs, you wanna help?菲比你想来帮忙吗

Oh, I wish I could, but I dont want to.我倒希望能去帮忙,但我不想去

Im supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys.我应该用一套这样的小蜗杆, 将托架装在侧面

I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and I cannot feel my legs.但我没看见托架,也没有看见什么蜗杆,而且我的腿麻了

Whats this?这是什么

I have no idea.我也不知道

Done with the bookcase!书架做好了

All finished!全部完工

This was Carols favorite beer.这是卡罗尔最爱喝的啤酒

She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.她总是不用易拉罐喝,我该知道

Ross, let me ask you a question.罗斯,我问你一个问题

She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV-她得到了家具 音响和很棒的电视机

what did you get?你得到什么

You guys.你们

Oh, my God.天啊 -

You got screwed.你被坑了

Oh my God!天哪

Oh my God! I know, I know, Im such an idiot.天哪,我知道,我是个大白痴

I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week.她每周看四五次牙医时, 我心里就该有数了

I mean, how clean can teeth get?我是说,牙齿能需要多干净呢

My brothers going through that right now, hes such a mess.我哥也碰到这种事了 他也很纠结

How did you get through it?你是怎么熬过来的

Well, you might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers,say her你可以尝试 不小心砸烂她贵重的东西, 比如她的

leg?

Thats one way!Me, I went for the watch.那也是种选择,至于我嘛, 我砸烂了她的表

You actually broke her watch?你真的把她的表弄坏了

Barry, Im sorry... I am so sorry...巴瑞,对不起,真是对不起

I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on,你一定认为这件事跟我那天说你穿着袜子做爱有关

but it isnt... it isnt, its about me, and I just...其实不是,是我的原因,我只是

Hi, machine cut me off again...喂,电话又断了

未完

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